Below is a piece written and submitted to us by a customer (W.R.) along with our reply.
W.R. is a 48 years old hetero male who is a divorced father. He shares an anal sex experience that happened to him when he was 28 years old. He shared his story for advice and hopes it helps others who are curious and have questions.
His Anal Sex Experience:
I wasn’t much of a communicator growing up and this followed me to the bedroom where my first anal experience was one that was barely discussed.
We talked around it, with mere mentions and questions of if we’ve ever thought about it. That was about it.
Too indirect to even call it by name.
We didn’t do any web searches or read any magazine articles about anal sex; ass fucking; ducking in the dung hole; or whatever cunning references that would have lead us in the right direction. We didn’t even have friends that we trusted with a conversation.
We were solo on our escapade and in a silo of thinking — about self.
When it happened, I was rock hard and we were both sweaty and silky slick, my mind started to think of other orifices that could be penetrated for the sake of increasing the pleasure.
While on our sides, face to face, somewhere between slipping in and out of her vagina, I began to fantasize about entering her ass, so I went for it.
I started by first pressing her asshole with my finger tip while my dick was inside of her pussy. When I felt she was ready — up for it, I withdrew my condom covered cock and began squeezing the head to minimize its swollen state — and it came to my mind — that I’m fairly considerate.We continued to groom each other into comfort.
Yet there was another side of me. The side that was controlling the urge to thrust hard and deep.
She was my remote control of no verbal words. Her indications of pleasure were her eyes on me; her hand on my shoulder that turned from passionate rubs to pats that directed me to slow down.
Thank goodness there was no signal of hold, because I found a new pleasure spot that I didn’t want to stop playing in.
The moment lasted. The moment passed. But….
There was never any talk about it after that.
Hell, I wanted to know more after that experience and feel that feeling again.
Thinking back, I can’t recall if there was something that prompted us to have that silent experiment.
I had an introduction and wanted more but I never communicated it. That taste was a game changer for me but just the tip. Imagine if I had known more and if we had verbally communicated!
I feel like I missed something…. I still have questions and would like to try again.
Our Response:
Talk about it, talk about it, talk about it….
The anus is a sensitive part of the body that contains many nerve endings, just like the vagina. With the right approach and preparation, anal sex can be a pleasurable and intimate experience.
What means yes? What means go? What means slow? What means hold?
Make it a point to spend a bit of extra time to get through the conversation. A good discussion can:
- allow you to learn about preferences
- increase trust and intimacy
- lead to laughter
- release you from shame
- help you uncover fantasies
- ensure everyone involved is safe
- help you establish boundaries
When we take time to communicate with our partner(s) before engaging in anal sex, we are establishing clarity around what’s to be expected.
The anus has a sphincter muscle located about a half inch to one inch inside that is tightly closed in its relaxed state.
Attempting to force it open can cause pain and discomfort. To overcome this, you can use a well-lubricated finger and an introductory toy like the Bang! 21X Anal Plug w Remote to hold the muscle open. This causes the muscle to exhaust its energy source and relax, reducing discomfort and increasing pleasure.
As Daytona’s (and central Florida’s) number 1 adult toy store, we are committed to helping individuals achieve their highest levels of pleasure. We help you discover ways to bring more enjoyment and exploration to your sex life — be it through toys or education, we have over 40 years of experience to share with you.
Would you like to know more about anal sex? Have questions about other topics?
Call us at (386) 252-7399 or stop by. We’re located on the corner of Madison and Ridgewood.