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All About Anal: Sex and Toys

If you’ve ever had questions about anal toys and/or anal sex, this is for you!

Even if you’ve already had anal sex/stimulation (alone, with a partner or partners), there are some things you may not know — And as your sexual health and wellness hub, we (Thee Fantasy Shoppe) make it our mission to provide you with educational information to keep you safe and help enhance your intimate experiences.

Below is a conversation between one of our VIP product experts and a team member. They talk about everything from anal sex prep to anal products/toys — along with safety precautions you need to consider.

If you prefer, you can listen to it on SoundCloud.

C: Go ahead, you just talk to me as if I was a customer in the store and I want to explore anal for the first time. 

B: Okay, that would bring about, when you say; “Explore anal for the first time are you speaking in the means of exploring with a partner or exploring in solo play, experimentation?”

C: Okay so those are the three different things that one needs to look at. 

B: So my next question is; “Did you come to this decision independently or did a play partner introduce and suggest to you?”

Then I would ask questions such as:

  • Have you had any anal play experience whatsoever?
  • And then I would go into the conversation of; “Are you familiar with the physiology…the actual physical setup of what anal really means?”

I would further explain that it’s not just the outer sphincter that we have a bit of control over with the clinch, unclench and relax, but there’s also another sphincter that occurs approximately 1 1/2 inch 2 1/2 inches further up…that there is no relax and that changes things because some people don’t realize that. They think there’s only the outer sphincter and sometimes what happens is lube will be used there but they haven’t actually lubed for the purpose of the inner sphincter.

So then when we discuss more about anal…of course I always, always recommend the very small beginner plugs to start play. 

The question also comes; “Does the person want this for play or long-term wear?”

Some people wear the plugs all day long…and not just the dancers, because I want to expand and open the idea that that kind of wear isn’t just for professionals, there are a great many of people who prefer that as well.

C: Now you use the word small now me being into the digital stuff when you say small does that include diameter and length?

B: Yes. And they are standard dimensions.

  • Small usually runs from 3/4 of an inch to 1 inch. 
  • Medium usually goes to an 1 inch to an 1 1/2 inches. 
  • Large is considered anything over 1 1/2 inches in its widest diameter. 

C: What about materials? Are there materials that you would recommend? Are they different for anal?

B: Well commonly we end up with either stainless steel or we go into various silicones and that seems to be the preferred for most people. That is also very much a textural…sensory choice. Some people like the metal because it can conduct heat and cooling much easier or they prefer the silicone because they have ideas about cleanliness as well. 

It’s very important to keep either product clean and dry after it has been used. Absolutely.

C: And since we’re on the topic of cleanliness, what is the preparation? Do you at Thee Fantasy Shoppe provide the kits for preparation when getting ready for anal? 

B: Oh yes absolutely! We have various douches that are available – we do advise that. 

Anybody that wants to consider more open sexual play, I’m also a strong advocate of the Universal Water Works Cleaning Systems.

Those attach to any shower head and can easily be used and it’s very very handy and this handles the douche and it handles a lot of cleanup and you have a lot of different attachments for that. 

I recommend the douche beforehand and I also recommend for internal lubrication, a thicker more gel type lubricant as opposed to the thinner liquid lubricant that can be used externally. Now that brings up two questions when we’re talking about play because there is silicone lube  or there is water-based lube.

Silicone lubes are great if you are using metal toys, however silicone lubes cannot be used with silicone or abs plastics. And that’s because we don’t want the microparticle breakdown in the human body — keeping in mind that the anal track is considered a mucous membrane so the uptake is much easier.

Courtney: I’m so honored to be your friend.

B: Oh Thank you love you’re so funny. 

C: No, I really mean that. We’re able to talk politics, plants and pussies.


B:  Yeah, everything. There’s not anything we can’t talk about.

C: But with true knowledge

B: Right! Right!

B: Now with your lubricants; “Do you want a numbing agent?”

Some people in the beginning require a numbing agent and that’s okay too. Some people are like; “Oh no I want the whole experience.” That’s okay too. 

It’s…about your personal preference. And back to “What is the most important thing of any kind of intimate interaction?” 


It’s always about…communication.

C: Last question before I forget…back to the sizes. For anal play and using a device — A vibe and no vibe?

B:  There’s vibe or no vibe it all depends on what a person chooses and what they like. Back to the shape…now when I gave you size, those were predominantly for the plugs. There are other things that are used as well. Men prefer to call them prostate massagers or prostate reach devices. A lot of doctors would tell them; “Fellas you need better prostate stimulation.” That goes into their general well health. 

…some of those — it’s not that the dimension or the width is any different but sometimes the length is a bit different…that comes into mind as well. 

Some people…like to wear them on a regular basis…same way as you would jewelry, earrings or necklaces and they wear their various plugs…very very common.

Vibration comes in whether or not you want vibration — we have some that are very very silent so that if you chose to wear it full-time if not going to be heard by somebody standing next to you. 

Adjustable weight — what we call weighted…sometimes those are the stainless steel and it will have little balls inside of it that the weight shifts and moves according to the position as well…and some people like that because it changes the pressure…that’s usually with a silicone because you have a better feel for the ball moving with the silicone — better than you would with the metal per se. 

C: If someone was interested in using an anal plug while having vaginal penetration — is that a thing?

B: Yes, some people do and what it does is going to have more tension and the perineal area and actually causes G Spot and many senses to be more easily reached. 

…I’ve had ladies that have shared with me that they had their first G-spot orgasm because they also incorporated anal play into some of their vaginal play.

Now the important thing is…back to safety, health and wellness — it’s okay to go vaginal – anal. It’s not okay to go anal – vaginal. 

You have to have clean up in between because of the vagina… is an absolutely wonderous — saving herself…a lovely body part that will immediately begin to freak out because it’s like; “This does not belong here.” …and it [anal play] does Introduce bacteria that is not conducive to the vaginal canal. 

C: Final question — finger play and anal…because someone may not be ready for a toy and they may be looking to enhance that experience with vaginal insertion — Now give us the tips. Do you have the finger condoms and the nail files? 

B: Definitely. Yes we do! It is important. I always suggest the trimming of the fingernails because back to what I was saying this is a mucous membrane — it is soft material. The inside the anal canal is much the same as the inside of the vaginal canal and you have to be cautious there. You don’t want to have a tear or a scratch — and hand washing is very very important.

…I am a firm believer that you should certainly be exploring with own body before you would embark with various toys as well

…And they do make finger condoms or ringer cots…and usually you’ll find those the most in restaurant supply stores. 

C: You don’t carry them in your store? 

B: We do have some of them here in the store, but for most people if they’re going looking for that, they may have trouble finding it looking in the anal sections of Walmart and such, but you would find it under the restaurant supply things. 

C: Amazing. Is there anything else you would like to add? 

B: It’s fun and you don’t get pregnant! 

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